One week ago I felt a strong call from God to help out a fellow Catholic momma who is also a blogger. Elizabeth DeHority is literally fighting for her life and at the same time, fighting for the lives of orphaned children; and I was inspired. I was inspired by the life she is living and I was also inspired by the Holy Spirit to do what I could. And here’s what I could do: I could blog, I could quickly design a free tee shirt, I could let people know the profits from purchase of the tee shirt would all be given to Elizabeth DeHority. And I fulfilled that inspiration from God to help.
Since that time, I have frequently checked and rechecked and rechecked only see a handful of tee shirts reserved, 14 out of 20 to be exact. And I was disappointed. I was concerned how this seeming lack of response would reflect on me; I was after all the one who spear headed this endeavor and boldly proclaimed my goal was to raise $500. I was concerned how it would reflect on Suscipio or Elizabeth or the orphans she is championing. But then I realized, that’s not what this was about. This campaign was not about $500…it was about being obedient.
This realization reminded me of something I had read in Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul.
#28–”Once Jesus told me, ‘Go to Mother Superior and ask her to let you wear a hair shirt for seven days, and once each night you are to get up and come to the chapel.’ I said yes, but I found a certain difficulty in actually going to the Superior…[she does ask Mother's permission and is harshly denied.]…I apologized for taking up Mother’s time and left the room. At that very moment I saw Jesus standing at the kitchen door, and I said to Him, ‘You commanded me to ask for these mortifications, but Mother Superior will not permit them.’ Jesus said, ‘I was here during your conversation with the Superior and know everything. I didn’t demand mortification from you, but obedience. By obedience you give great glory to Me and gain merit for yourself.’” (emphasis mine)
Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul
Now, I am not comparing myself to a saint or claiming I see Jesus. What I am saying is I know what God asked me to do one week ago and I did it. Once I realized God did not ask me to raise $500, that was my own doing, I could let go of the numbers or lack of numbers. The tee shirt sales will be what they are supposed to be, if they are supposed to be…and it looks they were not meant to be. God and Elizabeth will not hold it against me though.
I was also reminded about a story of a man God tells to push a large boulder. And after a time, the man becomes discouraged because the boulder is not moving. He sadly goes to God to tell Him, he can’t move the boulder. God assures the man, he was doing exactly as God had commanded…push on the boulder. God never told the man to move the boulder.
I did exactly what I felt God command me to do; the rest is not up to me or about me…that’s just pride my sisters.
For fun, I had also initially designed a tee shirt for Suscipio, but turned those shirts into part of the fundraiser–you know, because I was going to raise $500 and all. Instead, I am going to cancel that campaign and start fresh. I am going to design a schweeeet Suscipio tee using our logo. Be watching for that some time soon.
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