Welcome to Monday’s at Suscipio. Link up your own version of an online Daybook or journal or share in the comments. Take time to visit each other and offer encouragement to each other for the week. Let’s get started…
Thanking God for
::a warm fireplace to congregate with our God family
::Pioneer Woman’s Spicy Pulled Pork for a very satisfying lunch/dinner
::the dedication of a loving priest who has enthusiastically welcomed and abundantly provided and continues to provide for our parish family
::crochet lessons from my neighbor who is also my friend (Crochet “lessons” sounds way more formal than it actually is. Really we sit at our table and talk and crochet together.)
::Giving a ride home to 2 homeschool boys in our group and hearing the book suggestions fly back and forth across the rows of seats in the van.
::naps to catch up on sleep lost last week when everyone had colds
Reading
The Hermitage Within
(This book may take a while. I had not even made it past the first page and needed to make a call to my spiritual director.)
Holiness for Housewives: And Other Working Women
(I read this book about 10 years ago and have picked it back up for our Book Club.)
Honey for a Woman’s Heart: Growing Your World through Reading Great Books
The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Catholic
The Way of Trust and Love – A Retreat Guided by St. Therese of Lisieux
Pondering, Praying and Thinking Out-Loud
I am in need of a change. Change does not necessarily mean ditching what I’m doing now. In my case, that would be a bad thing. But I do need to make some changes…now.
I started Suscipio last year when I had a 13, 11, 9, 7, 5, 3 and baby tucked up tight in the womb. I now have an almost 15 year old, high school freshman down to a–now walking–one year old and everybody in between, plus a handsome husband and then there’s me. To say I am needed would be an understatement.
In addition to all that goodness of a growing family–this past year has also worn me down and beaten me up. Friends I thought were life long–kiss on each other’s grand babies life long–openly mocked and maligned me, lied to me and about me, sabotaged my children’s birthday party, publicly questioned our parenting and forced our hand to make decisions we never thought we would have to make.
I’m tired.
I am tired of my children finding me on the computer. This is not entirely Suscipio’s doing, but Suscipio does take some time. I am tired of telling my children, “Just a minute.” I am tired of Leo cruising around the dinning room chairs to get to me at the computer. Suscipio has begun to feel more like a burden more than a creative, communal outlet. And that’s not good.
But getting rid of Suscipio is not a valid answer. I spoke recently with my husband and my spiritual director extensively about Suscipio. These two men know my innermost self. And both of these men were very clear in the fact that Suscipio serves a good. This good is two-fold.
Suscipio has provided a place for Catholic women to come together and share their stories, their prayers and their heart. The body of Christ working together to encourage, teach and learn from each other is a good thing.
Suscipio has also provided me a creative outlet. Without a creative outlet, I become a burden to myself…you understand? I am daily encouraged by the comments you all leave for each other. I am in the front row for each story, pulling out the nuggets I can apply to my own life. And I’m always humbled by your generous prayers for each other. I honestly feel like there is no place else on the web like Suscipio.
So how to reconcile my need to continue Suscipio and my need to respond to the call of wife and mother in my own little Domestic Church?
Well, the first step is to grant myself grace. I say myself, because I know you all already do. Here’s how I need to grant myself some breathing room. If I don’t get a post up…that’s ok. If I get a post up late…that’s ok. If the Book Club post goes up on Thursday instead of Wednesday…that’s ok. If I am the only one talking about the book…that’s ok. If…If…If…that’s all ok. I can walk away from the computer mid-post and pick it back up an hour later, or a day later or two days later. I can post a picture on my personal blog without feeling guilty because I have not done anything on Suscipio for the day.
So you are maybe wondering why I had to make this big long post to say, “Things may look a little different around here, but Suscipio is still here.” I needed to say all this because Suscipio would not be here with out you all and I needed to let you all know what had been rolling around my head for the past couple of months.
Captured
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Jenny, it seems silly for me to comment when so many others have already expressed my feelings but I just wanted to say I’m sorry you were hurt by your “friends.” I also wanted to say thank you for all the effort you’ve put in here. I love reading various blogs but when I really need to reconnect with God or want to dig a little deeper into my spiritual life, I know I will find what I need here. With that said, please don’t feel you must post following a certain schedule. We all understand that family is your primary vocation. Blogging is secondary so you only need to come when you are ready and able. Frankly it helps when my favorite bloggers post less often because it gives me time to catch up a little every day with various online friends. Too many posts makes for an overflowing reader that I can’t finish.
So don’t feel bad. We’ll support you either way. 
Bobbi @ revolution of love recently posted..Five Favorites (Vol 2): Holy Papa Edition
Hi Jenny,
It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. Once my leg healed I found my life calling me and my blog saying come back when you can. This also means I read less blogs, so I totally understand.
I also got myself in over my head with reading books. I put them all in a pile and while each one was only a small amount each week…..when I piled them….it looks crazy. So, instead of reading blogs, I’m reading the books I assigned myself too. All great spiritual reads which is good.
I guess it’s the season of life. Do what you can, when you can and we’ll all be blessed by it. When you aren’t here, your family will be blessed all the more. Enjoy them.
A friend once said to me, when you look at how many summers you have before your children start leaving, you really think about your time. So true.
Right now my kids still like me, which makes me want to hold tight all the more.
God bless you Jenny and all the other readers here as well. We all know and understand.
Tina recently posted..Catholic Womans’ Almanac
Amen. We all go through different seasons. I only have one child. I may end up going to college with him! haha
Blessings,
Emily
Emily Davis recently posted..JOYFUL NEWS! WE HAVE A POPE!
Hi folks,
It seems to me that in this life we need to make space for God. Perhaps with the busy lives we live chasing kids, house stuff, husbands etc that space can be overlooked. Saying “no” is one way of making that space….denying our desire for the sake of letting God’s love pour forth is a really good thing….So saying NO to the computer for the sake of your primary responsibility is a good thing, not a negative even though we might experience it as a loss.
Congratulations on making the decision to spend more time with your primary responsibility. Its ok, we can manage, and it won’t hurt any of us to learn the same lesson….
Indeed Doris! Our vocations are our families first.
Tina recently posted..Catholic Womans’ Almanac
Indeed:
The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career. C.S. Lewis
Family First!
Emily Davis recently posted..JOYFUL NEWS! WE HAVE A POPE!
Jenny,
You are an amazing woman, and a lovely soul. Rest in His love, and know that you are loved by very many readers, including myself! I pray that you will find the balance that you are looking for, and that He will guide you every step of the way.
Smile, my dear – you are a daughter of the King!
~Peace,
LuAnne
LuAnne recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac – volume 25
Jenny, it’s okay to post less often, or even to edit other people’s posts less often. Thanks for letting us know what’s going on. We won’t wonder if you’re quitting just because you let up a bit. I have been completely awed by the amount you have been doing. You can keep Suscipio going without pretending to be Wonderwoman.
Like you, I have found unexpected blessings in blogging. For me, it’s helped totally keep my focus on Christ, because I’m writing about the spiritual life so often. And I completely agree about having an outlet for your creativity. That’s important when you’re home with the kids 24/7. But a little bit less might be good for all of us. Especially during Lent.
Blessings!
Connie Rossini recently posted..Christian prayer is much more than Eastern meditation
Thank you for the encouragement Connie.
Yes, I find myself much more aware of all things, not just the spiritual, because I “see” things in light of a post: great light for a picture, a quote to share, etc.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Yes, Yes, and Yes, to what everyone else said!
Angela Pea recently posted..PSA #5 – Move It, Sweetheart!
Angela, you’re Saturday posts have been such a treat to all of us. Thanks for the weekly encouragement in some girlfriend writing style. (Just wait until you girls read this Saturday’s…)
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
I love this blog because it is so real! I look forward to reading it each day. Please keep it real. Keep your family first and trust God. Thank you too, to all the ladies who contribute and comment – all is so inspirational and encouraging.
That’s what I strive for, real!
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Jenny,
You are loved and prayed for each and everyday! And I thank God for this site that the Lord. by Hid Grace has asked you to create, along with all the other wonderful women who blog here.
You may not believe this,,,but this post is probably the BEST ever of your posts! The brutal honesty, and candor and opening of your heart…..that is prayer and a powerful teaching to each one who reads your post! It is so freeing!
YES,YES,YES! It is OK….a day late, two days late, a picture…all is prayer….especially when we can say that this is not “consolation” like this but “desolation” and I need to revamp what is going on.
God bless you! Your immediate family comes first and you are serving Jesus in serving them!
We all have been hurt by those we trusted…..I join you, as others here on this site will….to bring those hurts to the Foot of the Cross…knowing that Our Lord Jesus lived each and every one of those feelings…
Everything is Grace!
Colleen
Colleen, thank you for your kind hearted words.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Your family comes first. You are in my prayers.
Erica S. recently posted..What I Wore for a few minutes this Sunday
Hello Erica. Thanks for the prayers and right back-at-cha!
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
good for you- big step. It is letting go of control
Oh my goodness do God and I talk about control some days. He always wins, lol!
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
it is a real pain sometimes, isn’t it
Good morning!
I see you have gotten excellent advise and wonderful comments. I just want to echo that you have to do what is best for your family. I have a love-hate relationship with my computer as well.
Call on us for help if need be. We are here for you just as you are for us. It’s give and take. Let us give!
Blessings and have a great day/week!
Em
Emily Davis recently posted..Catholic Women’s Almanac – Happy Monday!
I also wanted to say – as we get older, we realize who our true friends are. We no longer collect people to make us happy or fulfill a need. We REALLY know who our friends are. Though I am sure that situation with your friends hurt, and it is shameful that they ruined your child’s party, forgive them and move on.
It’s the only way to stay sane.
Praying for peace and resolution.
Emily
Emily Davis recently posted..Catholic Women’s Almanac – Happy Monday!
Ugh! Yes, a love/hate relationship, exactly. It’s me, I need to be a better steward of my time, the computer just gets blamed for it.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Often where there is great good, the evil one tries to change things. I’ve seen this on my daughter’s blog, too—www.piercedhands.com/blog.
I’ll put you on my prayer list. God bless you!
Thanks Melissa. Your Meg is one amazing girl! I enjoy her posts and even share some of them with my children over breakfast.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Jenny, I have in many occasion in my short life time (I am just twenty-five, so I am probably considered very young) felt in a way you have. I can never say I have been completely in your shoes, but probably pretty darn close.
I have to say if I have never said this, but thank you for keeping Suscipio going. I would not have much prompting to write as I do after I began to read Suscipio almost on a daily basis. I have such a difficult time writing what I am constantly thinking about. CWA and Moment of Grace are helping me sort through all the thoughts and many good entries have come about.
Know that you are in my prayers.
Sister in Christ, but also a fan of Suscipio,
Nikita
Nikita recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac Vol. 3 Issue 11
Oh, you are very welcome Nikita. Suscipio fulfills a call from in the Bible to us older women to help you, as a younger woman …
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
What could I possibly add to the already wonderful, kind comments that are left here?! I second everything they say. Know that you are supported in every way…and we appreciate all you do. Suscipio will have its varied *seasons* so to speak. I hope I can help in some way…God will lead each of us to assist in whatever way we can depending on the *season*.
@Michelle~*Homeschooling With Gentleness* is a wonderful little book but I loved *The Little Way of Homeschooling* even more…make sure you check out both : )
@Jenny~I am so tempted to get the hermitage book but will wait a bit but that concept has been heavy on my heart as of late especially being pulled in so many directions…even within the Carmelites.
Theresa recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac
Hi Theresa. Suscipio has been such a blessing to me in that I have gotten to meet some amazing, outstanding, striving for holiness, Catholic women. I am sure I reap way more than I contribute.
I know you understand the struggle I have been having. Maybe “burden” was not the right word…I think I’ve made Suscipio too much of an obligation. maybe “obligation” is a better word.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Jenny, I have been where you are at so many times. My blog has ebbed and flowed and I know exactly what you are feeling. I can say from experience that backing off is a good thing and granting yourself that grace is a GREAT thing. This is not the end all and be all! I also feel pretty confident that sometime in the future you will feel comfortable coming back here and being more involved. Take the time you and your family need and don’t feel guilty about it
God bless you!
Laura recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac
Oh thank you Laura. Just knowing I could come and go has already eased some of the feelings of being obligated to post a certain thing on a certain day at a certain time so as not to disappoint.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Hi Jenny. I am glad everyone is feeling better. I am also happy to hear about Suscipio (even though I look forward to it). I often wonder how you manage, since I obviously know what kind of work is involved with a large family.
I have homeschooled for about 13 years. Our classroom has taken on many forms, from strict classical to now “unofficially unschooling” (i.e. The Baby is the Lesson). I have learned that when I am burned out, I am either doing more than I should, or maybe what I should, but in the wrong order.
With eternity in the forfront of my heart and mind, I try to make decisions based on the long run. New babies are always tough on a marriage, and especially mine. Taking care of my husband first, believe it or not, takes priority over math. This may seem radical, but if my children are not emotionally healthy, with a good enough sense of how family works, than their education just doesn’t matter as much. Furthermore, not every child/adult is meant to go to college. (this one will take extra courage for me)
I overheard a woman at gymnastics say that a woman in her neighborhood homeschools her children and says that her 1st grader doesn’t even know how to read! I spoke up and told the story of my very articulate (which they have witnessed with amazement already) 13 year old and how I chose to wait until he was seven, since he only showed a readiness for math at an earlier age. I spoke of the courage it took in the face of “what everyone might think” and how we only got through half of 100 easy lessons and he took off and hasn’t returned. I knew homeschooling was just an extension of the attachment parenting I had already adopted. She also expressed a frustration over the fact that her daughter comes home from school and doesn’t know the concept and how she spends a few minutes and she gets it. “How come the teacher couldn’t do it in an hour!”, she said. You know what I thought, but didn’t go into that one. I left with a new sense of confidence.
I don’t know how our classroom will evolve. I will continue to seek guidance. I ordered Homeschooling with Gentleness and hope to read more, but for now, I want to give them a less stressed lenton season and a love for the church ~ both Mother and domestic.
Saints not scholars!
PS. I always get up and make Tim breakfast before he leaves for work. This morning, since I wanted to respond, I had to ask him to get an omelette at work. He didn’t mind. Expecting Joey to wake at any time, I knew I had to pick one or the other. So, sometimes I will also pick math. That is..until further notice, one day at a time.
Blessings, and I am so sorry about your friends. Purification can be painfull.
*painful
also, this is my new email address
Afterthought: I am sorry if this sort of deviated, but I was inspired for some reason. Of course, you may be very happy with the way your homeschool is going.
It’s that big picture thing, you know? Sometimes we ARE called to do something outside of “home” per say, but the “season” in which Theresa speaks of so beautifully, is definately early childhood formation for you and me.
God has a way of stripping our lives of the unnecessary, when we ask for simplicity. I have chosen to wait to get more involved in my parish, etc. I will only do what I feel I have the strength and extras (that may mean co-op, etc.) that will keep first things first. I am also sorry if my babbling has kept you too busy here at the computer!!
Love, Michelle
I appreciate your time and comment Michelle. We each will go through various seasons and knowing how to respond to them is key. It literally is listening to God.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}
Michelle…you inspired me to read *The Little Way of Homeschooling* again (have it on my kindle) and I sat and read it all day and night yesterday : )
I need that reminder of gentleness when I start whipping out book after book for my daughter to get *caught up*. I know I only have one to homeschool, but I still need to remind myself I am raising a soul destined for Heaven…not just for a good college (or a monastery if God so deems!!)
Theresa recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac
I’m so glad Theresa. I wondered why I was inspired to write this. Then, God reminded me that someone (not necessarily Jenny) needed to hear it. Sometimes, I feel like a nut! Sometimes, I don’t…LOL PS. I am so trying to send that book. I did jot down your address, so pray for me to have a chance to mail it! Michelle
Some of us wonder about the super lady that runs Suscipio. That beautiful family of yours is your priority and I would be so sad to see Suscipio go but of course it comes second. I believe as a community of women you can enlist us. For all who love being here perhaps we could help more with the writing and encouraging parts. We have some beautiful women and beautiful writers on here.
I am sorry about someone doing that to such a beautiful family. Betrayal is the worst feeling. (trust me I have experienced ultimate betrayal) I know that you had to be a rock to hold it together. I feel blessed that you share a glimpse into a Catholic family that is not perfect but tries to emulate a holy place. I admire what you and Chris do everyday.
I understand what you mean about the little one and the computer. We need something, but we also need balance. I understand and totally respect this.
Give yourself a break and know that even when posts are late, half done, not there for days, we all have a part in this and this TRULY is the best site for Catholic women. We all come from different walks of life and different struggles. We ARE with you girl! Thank you for all!
I love that photo. Leo is so chubby and cute!!! Have a super week with your babes. hugs.
Hi Samantha. You are always an encouragement to each one of us here at Suscipio. I pray we are the same for you.
Jenny recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac {CWA}