Welcome to Monday’s at Suscipio. Link up your own version of an online Daybook or journal or share in the comments. Take time to visit each other and offer encouragement to each other for the week. Let’s get started…
Thanking God for
::a warm fireplace to congregate with our God family
::Pioneer Woman’s Spicy Pulled Pork for a very satisfying lunch/dinner
::the dedication of a loving priest who has enthusiastically welcomed and abundantly provided and continues to provide for our parish family
::crochet lessons from my neighbor who is also my friend (Crochet “lessons” sounds way more formal than it actually is. Really we sit at our table and talk and crochet together.)
::Giving a ride home to 2 homeschool boys in our group and hearing the book suggestions fly back and forth across the rows of seats in the van.
::naps to catch up on sleep lost last week when everyone had colds
The Hermitage Within
(This book may take a while. I had not even made it past the first page and needed to make a call to my spiritual director.)
Pondering, Praying and Thinking Out-Loud
I am in need of a change. Change does not necessarily mean ditching what I’m doing now. In my case, that would be a bad thing. But I do need to make some changes…now.
I started Suscipio last year when I had a 13, 11, 9, 7, 5, 3 and baby tucked up tight in the womb. I now have an almost 15 year old, high school freshman down to a–now walking–one year old and everybody in between, plus a handsome husband and then there’s me. To say I am needed would be an understatement.
In addition to all that goodness of a growing family–this past year has also worn me down and beaten me up. Friends I thought were life long–kiss on each other’s grand babies life long–openly mocked and maligned me, lied to me and about me, sabotaged my children’s birthday party, publicly questioned our parenting and forced our hand to make decisions we never thought we would have to make.
I am tired of my children finding me on the computer. This is not entirely Suscipio’s doing, but Suscipio does take some time. I am tired of telling my children, “Just a minute.” I am tired of Leo cruising around the dinning room chairs to get to me at the computer. Suscipio has begun to feel more like a burden more than a creative, communal outlet. And that’s not good.
But getting rid of Suscipio is not a valid answer. I spoke recently with my husband and my spiritual director extensively about Suscipio. These two men know my innermost self. And both of these men were very clear in the fact that Suscipio serves a good. This good is two-fold.
Suscipio has provided a place for Catholic women to come together and share their stories, their prayers and their heart. The body of Christ working together to encourage, teach and learn from each other is a good thing.
Suscipio has also provided me a creative outlet. Without a creative outlet, I become a burden to myself…you understand? I am daily encouraged by the comments you all leave for each other. I am in the front row for each story, pulling out the nuggets I can apply to my own life. And I’m always humbled by your generous prayers for each other. I honestly feel like there is no place else on the web like Suscipio.
So how to reconcile my need to continue Suscipio and my need to respond to the call of wife and mother in my own little Domestic Church?
Well, the first step is to grant myself grace. I say myself, because I know you all already do. Here’s how I need to grant myself some breathing room. If I don’t get a post up…that’s ok. If I get a post up late…that’s ok. If the Book Club post goes up on Thursday instead of Wednesday…that’s ok. If I am the only one talking about the book…that’s ok. If…If…If…that’s all ok. I can walk away from the computer mid-post and pick it back up an hour later, or a day later or two days later. I can post a picture on my personal blog without feeling guilty because I have not done anything on Suscipio for the day.
So you are maybe wondering why I had to make this big long post to say, “Things may look a little different around here, but Suscipio is still here.” I needed to say all this because Suscipio would not be here with out you all and I needed to let you all know what had been rolling around my head for the past couple of months.