Several years ago I read a life changing post written by Elizabeth Foss, “Tell Me Again Why Bother?” Well, it at least changed my life that day. And then like so many life changing posts, it was soon, life as usual. Except I printed this life changing post off and stuck it somewhere for safe keeping. Every so often through the years I get a great big surprise when I come across it again…and it convicts me each and every time I read it. And I put it somewhere safe, because the gold nuggets of homemaking wisdom are of such value. And then the cycle repeats itself over and over again. I tuck it away only to forget about it and then come across it when I need to read it…put it away for safe keeping…you get the point.
Reading that introduction would make me think I was a highly unorganized person. In reality, I try so hard to be neat and organized that I am forever looking for and trying the next great method or philosophy of keeping a home. I stand up straight and tall like Washington crossing the Delaware, boldly and rather proudly declare, “This will get me on the right track and keep me there or my name is not momma!”
Our housekeeping routines are crucial to the smooth functioning of our days, our weeks. Life in a well-ordered home does shine. Radiance streams into our lives like the grace of God. Ordering a home isn’t something you do once and it stays that way. Instead, it’s a continual commitment. ~Elizabeth Foss
I love lists and color coded papers and felt tip pens and spirals and binders and I’d rather look around the office supply store over a clothing store any day. Each shelf is bursting with the possibility of organization. And organization is what this momma likes to see.
There are entire websites and Pinterest Boards dedicated to the beauty of organized living. And it is beautiful. God is a God of order and this life is a valley of natural disorder. Thus the constant struggle…bringing order to disorder.
So I try my best and lots of days I fail. How do I know I fail? Well, other than the obvious clutter; when I tell my children we need to clean up the house really well and they ask, “Who is coming over?” that’s a pretty good sign I have taught them we clean up or keep a clean home for the wrong reasons.
Cleaning up for company is a good. But keeping things neat and tidy for the souls that live and move and have their being here everyday…that’s better.
The Flylady talks about CHAOS–the “Can’t Have Anybody Over Syndrome.” Certainly, it would be a shame to not be able to have anybody over. But a greater shame, I think, is to neglect the people who actually live in a house by being a poor steward of both time and treasure. A greater shame is for a hard working man to have to pick his way around the mess as he makes his way to a disheveled bedroom. A greater shame is to throw a meal at the kids and run to work on an outside project while they eat. ~Elizabeth Foss
Elizabeth goes on to quote Sir 26:1-18, also known as the “Blessed the Husband of a Good Wife” verses. She states,
I cannot reconcile these beautiful verses with the idea that being busy with other projects excuses us from welcoming our husbands into well-ordered homes. I’m not talking about a mom with two toddlers and a baby who is struggling to keep up and feels like she’s losing the fight. That’s a season during which both husband and wife will grow. I’m talking about the veteran mom with a range of ages of children who makes choices every day to neglect her home. That is simply the fruit of bad habits and misplaced priorities. ~Elizabeth Foss (emphasis mine)
I am so glad I came across this post as we finish out our focus for February, the home. This is also a very timely post to reread each Lent. Holy Mother Church is so awesome. The cleaning of spiritual cobwebs in preparation for Easter happily coincides with a natural desire to clean our homes in anticipation for Spring.
I want to close with what I consider to be the heart of Elizabeth’s “Why Bother” post.
I want to be a gracious wife, not just a gracious hostess. Not just a lovely face to the public, but a comfort and a blessing to my husband. So, why bother with homemaking? Because God call us to be virtuous wives and He tells us that virtuous wives live in well-ordered homes. ~Elizabeth Foss
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I hate clutter. And when my hormones are out of whack or I’m feeling that something in my life is out of control, it can be even more distressing for me.
With so many little ones, spot cleaning has become my norm. I also like to take a tub or bin and go around (or have the kids do it) and gather all toys, etc. If I have time to go through it, fine, if not it goes in the attic until I do.
Deep and decorative baskets on top of cabinets and furniture hide every day items very well from view too.
Ultimately though, and in an effort to keep “first things first”, I decide what is stressing me most, and do that. If it is one toilet, so be it.
As for my husband, I don’t think he ejoys clutter either. He knows full well about me and so me being at peace is very important since his mood reacts to mine. Whatever it takes. I pray that I learn to let go more and more.
The old addage: When Mom is happy, everyone is happy seems to be the truth ~ at least here in my home. Sometimes, this truth overwhelms me with pressure and other times with awe. I continue to ask the holy spirit to guide me from day to day and sometimes from hour to hour.
Blessing, Michelle
PS. They wash commercial eggs and so they lose something important, but I forgtot what. Enjoy. I eat them every day. Love the picture.
LOL ~ losing my peace with these typos! *enjoys, *forgot
Oh this is a great post. I printed the Why Bother post and I will probably read this one many more times.
I love a clean and organized home. Ginny Seuffert has a book called “Home Management Essentials” – super easy to read. Fantastic ideas for quick wipe-down cleans… and she had 12 children…
I clean and prepare because I am honored to do it. I had my child at forty after struggling and I am NOT going to miss a moment.
It’s about being humble and just doing what you can to make yourself and your home presentable – not perfect.
Blessings,
Em
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Thank you for this post. It is an area where I most definitely struggle. I’ ve started at least trying to keep our bedroom tidy as a way to show my husband he is loved and valued. Any idea on how to motivate teens to particpate in keeping our home lovely. It’s extremely difficult as a work a more than full time night work job and at times it feels like it’s me against everyone else. My Hubby is frustrated trying to get them to help in the evenings.
I’m in that transition period right now, where my youngest just turned 2 and doesn’t need me as much (he plays well with his older brothers). It’s really hard to get back into the routine of cleaning house more, now that I’ve got more time. My tendency is to think, “Finally! I can do some of the things [i.e., my own projects] I’ve been putting on hold for 2 years!” Meanwhile, the house remains a mess. And I so dislike cleaning! But I do like having a clean house. This has always been a struggle for me, and it’s not something that’s going to improve overnight.
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Not sure how I missed that post of Elizabeth’s. Off to read and print.
I completely agree with God is a God of order. I have to check myself to make sure I’m not going too far into neat and tidy orderly-land. Thanks to some issues it’s entirely possible to get there and not notice. I think it’s important (for me) to keep the focus. Who am I doing this for? For me to reduce unfounded anxiety? Or to serve God and my family?
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This makes me feel guilty. I’m the mom who throws a meal at her kids and runs out the door to work, or my kids sporting events or yet another volunteer activity. Lots to work on, all the time….
“God is a God of order and this life is a valley of natural disorder. Thus the constant struggle…bringing order to disorder.”
The message I keep receiving from God during this Lent is the need to bring order to the areas of disorder in my life, my home, my soul. Thank you for this post and the reminder to re-read Elizabeth’s post. God is so good to provide the encouragement that we need!
That CHAOS quote is priceless
Thank you for posting this. We clean, and my kids are all totally “Who’s coming over.” This is something I’m really working on. I did really well when I just have one child, but over the years, things have slipped again.
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Amen! I couldn’t agree more and I love to find ways to be better organized and make the whole cleaning thing easier. Thanks for reminding us of this, Jenny.
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Jenny, I love Elizabeth’s post. I have read it more than once and have it bookmarked. I should print it and highlight some areas. Wouldn’t a good quote be well on the cleaning caddy I use everyday? When I am negative and feeling well…not very useful or I think, “here I go again with the fingerprints..” I can remind myself that I am serving these gifts God has given me and I may not get a cheerleading squad every time I do it but it is glorifying the Lord. HE sees, He knows…I think this is part of fasting too….not always looking for affirmation, just silently offering up to God. Cookie crumbs, spots, crayon, laundry…Thanks for posting this today. God always makes things so timely for morning reflection when motivation is down and exhaustion is up.
I also love how Elizabeth knows right away to mention the moms and dads with toddlers in a whole other time of life! lol….she knows. You all know and are teaching me and mentoring me through this season of young children. I have not had experience with teens or the like yet and this…I am tired but I know..my son just turned 2 and my daughter is off to school. It is a flash. Even if we make a mad dash for 10 minutes so our husbands don’t trip on things and this is all we have time for then we serve through love. I often think about how I don’t have to get up at 6am to go in the cold. I get to have coffee and read this. I get to fold laundry while my son shows me his trains. Blessed.
I loved your thoughts Samantha…so much wisdom in them {probably more than you know}.
I think you made a good point about it all being part of fasting and I loved the part about being home in the morning to be able to drink coffee and read these and just *be* : )
One practice I have gotten into is doing a once over of sorts before hubby walks through the door. It is a particular sacrifice since when I work (and hubby is home), then come home, it is quite a different story. I really have to bite my tongue at times. At any rate, I make sure the kitchen is tidied, maybe a candle lit, and even a fire if it’s really cold. I don’t want him coming home to a cluttered kitchen, a bathroom that needs a wipe down, or my daughter’s snacks in every room in the house. Jenny motivated me a long time ago to make the bed everyday and even turn on a candle warmer. I can’t say this is done every single day, but I realize the importance of it and try.
Great post Jenny!
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Thanks Theresa! Glad someone reads my rambles haha.
What a difference it makes to a room when the bed is made!
We are all serious tongue biters at times.
That last quote really needs to me posted somewhere in my house when I feel like I am lazy.
I use to never truly care about cleaning. I was too lazy and certainly my great-grandmother was worried about that when I got married and then moved away, but having my own house I can see why it meant so much for her to have a clean house.
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