Connie | Contemplative Homeschool
I’ve always loved beauty. I’ve often dreamed of being an interior decorator. So it’s no surprise that I used to subscribe to House Beautiful 
Catholics say that beauty is one of the transcendentals that has its origin in God. God is Truth, Beauty, Goodness, and Unity. So beauty is not just a good thing. It’s necessary for a full life.
Back when I was single, I was working three jobs for a total of sixty or more hours a week. Some days I was so stressed, I needed outside help to find peace. I would drive to the Minneapolis Institute of Art a couple miles away and stare at my favorite paintings. Suddenly I’d be taking those slow, deep breaths that clear the mind and seem to clear the soul. A sense of well-being would flow over me. Then I could go home and greet my roommate with a smile before I hurried off to my evening’s work.
Eventually, I bought a poster of Gerome’s The Carpet Merchant, framed it, and hung it in my hallway. Now I didn’t need to go to the art museum to find peace. I had beauty in my own apartment.
About this same time, I was a novice in the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites. Preparing to make our first promises, we studied about obedience, chastity, and—gulp—poverty. Now, I grew up in a family with ten siblings and a father without a college degree. We had never had much money. As an adult, I was always struggling to make ends meet. My friends probably thought I was stingy, because I had to watch my purse so closely. So why was poverty a big deal for me?
I had my dreams. I didn’t want to give them up. I dreamed of a beautiful, spacious house. Soft pillows piled on the bed. Perhaps carved bed posts with a canopy above. Carpets I could bury my toes in. A large, but traditional, kitchen. A library where I could sip tea, write at my secretaire, fall on my fainting couch when I wanted to relax, and have every great novel within reach. Wasn’t that how life was supposed to be?
But I wanted to be a Carmelite, so I had to embrace poverty. Could I do it? Then it dawned on me: beauty and luxury were two different things. I had been confusing them. Living with beauty didn’t mean owning a McMansion. It didn’t mean buying lots of stuff that was purely for show.
The bare cell of a cloistered Carmelite—like the one my brother was later to occupy as a monk—was beautiful in its simplicity. A sunset could not be a status symbol. And great paintings were beautiful not because they portrayed the sumptuous, but because they touched on the transcendent.
I canceled my subscription to House Beautiful. I gave away some of my surplus possessions. And I married a man who wanted to work for the Church. But before that, I made my first promises.
We bought our current house four years ago. Since we were making a long-distance move, I let my husband make an offer without my seeing it. Let’s just say his digital pictures didn’t do its neediness justice! It’s not at all what I once dreamed of.
Our books are on put-together shelves from Menard’s in the homeschool/family room. The Carpet Merchant, whose glass suffered from a stray ball, is in the storeroom. The kitchen has a 1950s counter and a vinyl floor that is peeling at the edges. But at least we have painted our bedroom, so it’s no longer fire-engine red!
I still have lots of artwork on the walls, some secular, some religious. But that is not what makes my home truly beautiful. That role belongs to my husband and sons, who every day show me more about God and His goodness. I am living Gospel poverty, and I am steeped in beauty.
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Thank you for that post, Connie. Indeed, what matters in the end?
Marcia recently posted..{pretty, happy, funny, real}: Cellphone Camera Edition
Connie, this is wonderful, and so timely to me as well. Thank you for sharing this little insight into your life!
Angela Pea recently posted..Minutes – February 4
Thanks, Angela. I’m so glad you found it relevant.
Connie Rossini recently posted..How to choose beauty… not luxury
This is perfect! Thank you for reminding me of this. We live in a rental home that we can do nothing to! We can’t paint, heck, we can’t even hang anything on the walls, which is truly penitential for me. We lack luxury but I always feel the need for beauty so I have to be creative and find little ways to bring that beauty into our home. Sometimes it is just a matter of rearranging things, or adding something simple. God Bless.
Laura recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac
Thanks for your kind words. I’ve been where you are! Keep your spirits up.
Connie Rossini recently posted..How to choose beauty… not luxury
Thank you for this excellent article. I identified all the way through. Beauty in nature, in a room, in a painting, in a well composed photo.. I love it. And you “named” exactly why. It is not because what I see is portraying the sumptuous – it’s because what I see touches on the transcendent. YES.
I think people in an earlier time probably understood this better than we do. Even our minds are cluttered with stuff. I’m glad you liked the post.
Connie Rossini recently posted..How to choose beauty… not luxury
Oooohhh…great post Connie! I don’t feel so alone : )
We have always strived to live simply. Usually, not by choice. My husband is hardly in a field that pays well and we made a very personal decision that I be home as much as possible so I can homeschool my youngest. So, that means taking some emergency call for the hospital at night to supplement a bit. We have dealt with unemployment, my hours getting cut and due to the health of my mom who was my babysitter, I am no longer available to do pool days too.
It has always been as struggle but we continue to trust. Despite the lack of funds to do anything to our home, I am told that there is a sense of peace in it when people visit…it is warm and organized and comfortable (guess so with 14 yr old furniture!). We like shopping in the thrift and antique stores and always find something unique that fits our rustic theme. We use beautiful photos of nature that we took ourselves or crafts from recycled items. With less *things* there IS a sense of peace.
Sometimes I walk through my brother’s or sister’s large beautiful homes and think…wouldn’t it be nice? But deep down, I know this is where God wants my family and it doesn’t matter what kind of house I am in. This is not my permanent home : )
What a beautiful reflection of being steeped in beauty just by living a life of faith with simplicity. Thank you for sharing a part of your *real* life. Sorry for the rambling but this struck a chord with me.
Theresa recently posted..Catholic Woman’s Almanac
Yes, it is nice to talk more personally about my life some times, which I don’t do much on my own blog. I’m a reserved person, not at all chatty.
When we first moved to our home, we were embarrassed to have friends or family over. Then I found out that most of my friends, who are homeschoolers too, are in a similar situation. We live in a city of 13,000 with lots of old houses. Maintaining them well was not a priority for the last generation. It’s been really freeing to be here. My friends are more real, not trying to impress anyone as tends to happen in the Twin Cities.
Connie Rossini recently posted..How to choose beauty… not luxury
God is so good. Every time I read something on this site, it is at exactly the right time. I needed to hear the difference between luxury and beauty. I have a small apartment with a family of 4. The bedrooms are really large thank goodness. I was exactly the way you were about the magazines and the interior design. I always try to make fine with what I have but I find myself falling into complaining. Always wanting more….it’s ok to want certain things in life but reading this has reminded me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Luxury is not the same! Thank you for teaching me the virtue of gospel poverty. Great post!
God bless you, Samantha! We lived in a apartment until shortly before our second son was born. Our culture makes us think we have to live like kings. Your life in an apartment is probably more luxurious than most people’s in history (indoor heating and plumbing, for example), but we’re always told it’s not enough. I find even little spots of color, like the brightly colored knife set my mom bought us for Christmas, can lift my spirits. And give your husband a hint to bring home flowers once in a while. They don’t have to be expensive–he can get a bouquet at the grocery store. They can help compensate for not having your own yard.
Connie Rossini recently posted..How to choose beauty… not luxury