There have been a couple of places this week where I just quietly said to God, “I don’t want to be here right now.” And He answered, “Well, this is where you are, make the best of it.”
My heavenly Father was forcing me to find the grace in those places. They were there you know…because He was there.
I thought of Jesus–kneeling, laying, praying–in the garden. I’m pretty sure if a situation makes you sweat blood…you do not want to be there. But He was. And so He made the best of it. He spoke intimately to God the Father. And so I did the same, while the toddler interrupted and the baby needed and my selfishness demanded. But God’s my Father and a Father knows how His girl talks to Him…through, around and in-spite of interruption. And then He did the unthinkable…He came down on the altar and made Himself physically consumable.
And we ate. Each one of us, dealing with our own stuff; we waited our turn to partake of the physically consumable Jesus…
Body…Blood…Soul…Divinity
Now I am in no way comparing myself to Jesus. I am showing myself–because most of these words that dance out of my fingers, through the keyboard and onto the computer screen are for me. I am putting my thoughts to letters so I can see them objectively–I am showing myself that my distaste for a particular place, situation and circumstances are not the Garden of Gethsemane. They may be the field of discontent or the pasture of inconvenience, but they are not the Garden and I’m not sweating blood.
I’m irritated, aggravated, sad and disappointed. I’m confused and emotionally bruised and spiritually battered. But I have the example of Someone not wanting to be where they were (even if only long enough to ask for the cup to pass Him by) and making the best of it…for me.
So I make the best of it…for Him.
Share your Moment of Grace this week. Link up or drop a note in the comments.
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This post came to my computer one week after learning that my daughter’s 5th little boy will be born without his arms and had some problems with his little legs. What a shock for her to see that ultrasound and realize the path ahead for him. What a grace is our faith, to have God’s grace to get us all through these tough times. Thank you for the wonderful post. I shared it immediately.
My prayers are with you and your daughter as you all take in the information of your newest little one. As we just complete the 40 Days for Life in our diocese, my first thoughts were, “Thanks be to God that this little boy will know the love of his momma and grammy. He will know the sound of their voice, the gentle touch of their loving arms, the look of love in their eyes, even if those eyes have tears in them sometimes.” There are so many little ones who won’t know those things, either through abortion or neglect. But this, your little guy…He will, because you know the Father’s love for you all, even in a time of confusion and scary diagnosis.
I love this. I thought so many times to compare myself to Christ in the garden. Then, I had to pack my 20 yr. old’s bag and put him out in the cold and driving wind one December. I, for the first time in my life, experienced severe anguish. “And in his anguish, he prayed even more earnestly.” His anguish was for his children. Now, I know how he may have felt ~ to a lesser degree. What comforted me was that angels ministered to him and they are here for us too. PS I realize that everyone’s garden is different. God bless.
This is SO beautiful…and after a horrible week of pain (severe migraines), I really needed to be brought back to reality. I can really lament my pain and all that I’m not getting done, etc., when I have weeks like this. But no, I’m not sweating blood.
I will say some prayers for you….
Blessings,
Patricia
Praying for you, Jenny. God love you.
Saying an Ave for you today Jenny as well as anybody else who is struggling.
Gaudete in Domino,
Tina
Oh…do you know how much I needed this today…this morning…this week? How many times I said *I don’t want this…don’t want to be here…don’t want to deal with this…why can’t…?*
And I recall…THIS is where He is meeting me…not in the perfect situation but in the mess, the imperfections.
And I reach out…to receive.
I loved this post. “I’m pretty sure if a situation makes you sweat blood…you do not want to be there.” How’s that for perspective??
Good ol’ perspective is so hard sometimes. I am keeping you in my prayers. It is not easy to deal with disappointments. I have had some myself this week. Kind of having a similar week as you describe. We can’t be super mamas all the time….and it is hard. It is grace but difficult at times. Especially when there just never seems to be enough time and we have to live in the moment.
Thank you for pointing out the discontent and discomfort that Jesus was experiencing and he went to the Father. In my discomfort and complaint I will see the best for him and try to stop the complaints!
Do you have the book Meditations for Mothers -12 reflections by John Bartunek LC? I love this little book when I am feeling discouraged. It is just for my own soul as a woman. There is a nice balance of scripture and seeing Christ as teacher, friend and Lord. There are some great reflections and examples about Mary and really beautiful paintings. My little 10 minutes in the day if I cannot get to the big things like Divine Office, journaling etc (because let’s face it…an hour of quiet per day?? Not always there.)
Best to you Jenny for a new week with new promises…all from HIM.
You made me want to run to mass to receive Eucharist today. Great writing!
You made me want to run to mass to receive Eucharist today.
Samantha, that my friend is the the greatest compliment. Thank you.