Good Morning Ladies! Today is Book Club Day! Remember we are reading through The Imitation of Christ 
We are finishing up Book II and I’m starting in Chapter IX.
Um, hello last week’s discussion on friendship…
“So also do thou learn to part even with a near and dear friend for the love of God. Nor do thou think it hard when thou art deserted by a friend, knowing that we all at last must be separated one from another.”
Here’s the deal, if my friendships do not bring me closer to God…they are taking me away from God. Simple-Period-End of Story.
I am affected by what or whom I live and breathe around. For example, I am allergic to cigarette smoke–If I am around a smoker, I get sick. My soul is ‘allergic’ to negativity, gossip, meanness, and discontentment. If I make the choice to be around people who make the choice to live spiritually separated from God the Father because they can’t get control of the words they spew out of their mouth (which incidentially reflects the state of their heart)–I get sick. So do you my dear sisters in Christ…so do you.
But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
†Colossians 3:8
This inspired Word does not say, “Well, um, I’d like for you to stop speaking so badly about others, if you don’t mind.”
No, it says you must put away that kind of talk; that kind of lifestyle. Because it does become a lifestyle choice.
? Do you entertain friendships that could become an occasion of sin for your mouth?
? If you’re among a group of people and the words start flying, what can you or what do you do?
Chapter X
“God doeth well for us in giving the grace of consolation; but man doeth ill in not returning all again unto God with thanksgiving. And therefore the gifts of grace cannot flow in us, because we are unthankful to the Giver and return them not wholly to the source and fountain. “
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“Be therefore thankful for the least gift; so shalt thou be meet to receive greater.”
? How can we remember to count it all joy?
Chapter XII
I must have been walking through something years ago when I drew big red stars next to these passages:
“And the higher a person hath advanced in spirit; so much the heavier crosses he oftentimes findeth; because the grief of his banishment increaseth with his love.”
“If indeed there had been anything better, and more profitable to man’s salvation than suffering, surely Christ would have shown it by word and example.”
This is such a contrary life we live or at least strive for. I have those days where I just want to be left alone…by everybody…including God…because it hurts. And I’m not the first to notice…“If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so many enemies.” ― Teresa of Ávila But wait! I don’t want God to leave me alone because without Him I can do nothing but with Him…well, sometimes…I struggle.
? How do you view suffering in light of the example of Christ’s suffering?
Next week, let’s discuss Chapter 1-4 of the Third Book, Concerning the Holy Communion.
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What about friends who are not malicious but their beliefs are SO opposing to yours? I struggle with this one with childhood friends. That’s my struggle right now…thinking about if you keep them in your life maybe you could point them to God, but if you get rid of them…how can they see Christ in me? I don’t know….I am confused about this one. If it bothers me SO SO much though to the point it is upsetting then it’s not helping my relationship with God either. Thoughts?
I was struggling to count all as joy, so I started the grace journal and write the graces as I see them and then reflect on them as I go. Everything can be joy and I have learned that joy is not about FEELINGS. It is easy to equate the two. The only one who can steal my joy unfortunately is me. hard lesson! So far, writing them down has been a great reflection. Even small graces are so beautiful.
You know Samantha, I don’t have a good answer for you. I know in situations like these, I need the help and insight from my husband and or a spiritual direction.
For me, these situations, do not become an opportunity to let Christ shine through me. When my children took swimming lessons, the instructor demonstrated that if you are standing on the edge of the pool trying to pull someone out, they actually have more momentum to pull you in. That easily happens in bad friendships.
I’m not preaching ‘get rid of anyone whose presence you struggle with.’ That’s unrealistic and unChrist-like. What I am saying, again, for me…I have to make a decision. If a friendship is a bad lifestyle choice, meaning not the rare rant or offensiveness, but a habitual choosing of negativity, slander, gossip and the like…then I make the choice to live and breathe elsewhere. Those friendships suck me dry and possibly suck me into sin.
That was very helpful for discussion. It is hard when you are sensitive (as I am) not to hurt someone’s feelings. But the truth is I AM being pulled into negative thinking and I love how you talked about the pool. That made sense to me!
I think I have some praying to do!! Decisions like these are hard to make but I can’t hang onto something that is sucking away joy and a constant debate. Thanks Jenny! The imitation of Christ has brought me more food for thought.
Do you entertain friendships that could become an occasion of sin for your mouth?</i?
I try not to, but sometimes I fail. It's harder when the occasion of sin comes from speaking with my extended family. I have been sucked into the sniping and started sniping of my own. It's hard to keep my mouth shut if someone's choices are "obviously" wrong. Then I remember a homily where a priest said that we haven't all received the same graces, so some aren't accountable for what we might be. That simple reminder helps me to avoid making snap judgments. It also helps to recognize "the line" between expressing concern for another or dealing with one's own hurt feelings and the point where we are simply criticizing or gossiping.
If you’re among a group of people and the words start flying, what can you or what do you do?
I have walked out of a room. I have said, let’s not gossip.
Thank you for this site! I plan to visit more often!!
Good morning and welcome Karen. Yes, being around family can be difficult at times and the line between concern and gossip very blurred. I have started trying to just leave the room or situation or not even get in that situation to begin with.